toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize