i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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