We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
