Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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