Dual....:-)
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize