my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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