Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
