just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
