I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
