Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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