3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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