Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
