In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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