that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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