I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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