if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
