are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Idk if I want to put a bra on
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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