I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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