just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
