Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I did not marry a roomba.
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