DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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