Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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