This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
