is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
