went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
