That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
