32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
