How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
