quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
