we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
