Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
