All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
