Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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