Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
third nipple confirmed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
