hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
