I only kidnapped one of them. chill
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
