Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
love makes seman taste better
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
