You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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