I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize