I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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