just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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