just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
