Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
