he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
