U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
