Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
