Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize