So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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