so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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