I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
