I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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