butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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