Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
