New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
