Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
