summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
