I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
