oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize