I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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